It has been a while....

It has been a while since I've posted here.  That's a good thing, I assure you all.  I'm alive and well.  Since writing last I've had two clean PET scans.  I've also learned that PET scans offer up an awful lot of radiation!   I remain clean, though.


I've had several "clean" oncology visits and even a regular old physical with my primary care physician.  He suggested to live life and not wait on trying to start a family if we so desire.  My blood pressure was a little low, so he also suggested I could help myself to extra salt on my chips when we go for Mexican.  (I still don't do this).


In the meantime the Packers had an unbelievable season and then flopped.  My fantasy baseball team has drafted.  We've had a new deck built on our house to replace our rotting, crumbling one.  My new job is still going great and I love it.  I wake up looking forward to my work.  I've taken up cyclocross and look forward to fall.  In other words, life has gone on, and I've done my best to enjoy as much as I can.


I didn't want this to become my bike blog, so I've slowed down my posting.  I'll still write when I can.  I'm thinking about starting a new writing project, though.  If it happens, I'll keep you all posted.  Likewise, I'll post here first all the things that happen related to me or my continued cancer fight!

One Hour Thing

Meeting my new oncologist was uneventful - which is perfect.  "Uneventful" is really a great word for describing a visit to the oncologist, even when it is a new one.  The only question I asked was in regards to how long my skin would still be ultrasensitive to everything, but he didn't know as there are several possible outcomes there.  So, we continue on forward with the hopes of seeing clean chest x-rays and scans indefinitely.  One year down (almost), and four to go.  The plan will be yearly chest x-rays and yearly PET scans alternating every six months.


I wanted to mark the one year anniversary of my final chemotherapy.  My last chemotherapy was particularly brutal.  So, I wanted to figure out how to create as much pain as possible to sort of commemorate it.  Hence, "One Hour Thing."  

The Hour Record is a particularly curious event in cycling.  For those unfamiliar, it sounds astonishingly easy.  Ride your bike for an hour?  Sure!  Many of us do it all the time, and then we add many more hours to that.  


On the other hand, Eddy Merckx - the greatest and most accomplished cyclist the world has known - said that his hour attempt was "the hardest ride I have ever done."  For a winner of multiple TdF's (5) and six other grand tours along with countless classics races to say this, there must be something to it.  The history of this lists some of the greatest names in the sport, and my friend Charles and I eagerly await another legend making his attempt.  What makes this so difficult?  A lot has been written on this at wikipedia, cyclingnews, and velominati has a great piece on this.  Basically, if you give this your best effort, there are no breaks, there is no recovery, there can be no comfort found (I won't be riding a Boardman Superbike), and time seems to dramatically slow.  

I was asked why I felt the need to find a painful way to commemorate pain.  I'm not sure I could even appropriately explain this excellent question.  It isn't a guilt or obligation thing.  Really it is about living.  Chemotherapy made me a walking zombie.  It is difficult to remember sometimes.  I'm hoping to get out near my edges of good pain and really feel alive in the hopes I'll never forget what those days were like and how much they contrast with these days.


Although the whole thing may sound like it is about distance, it isn't.  Henri Desgrange did 21.95 miles.  Coppi and Anquetil did 28.458 and 28.681 miles.  Merckx did 30.714 miles.  Boardman did 30.721.  Having done a few intervals and a dry 85% run on the Stayer's Line at another track, I have a sense of where I'll end up, although it is far short of Coppi and I won't share my guess - because it is about the experience.  I'm only measuring laps done, and I may estimate the last partial piece as a guess for myself for future attempts, if any.  I certainly won't be calling USA Cycling and I may not even share my results.  (See previous paragraph).  On the other hand, if anyone is around mid-day next Tuesday (June 21) and wants to hang out and get lunch after (assuming I can walk), let me know.

Tomorrow is a big day

As some of you know, my oncologist has left and I'll be needing a new one.  This was shocking and saddening for Sarah and I.  The upside is that it happened now, rather than during the thickest parts of my fight.

I picked my new oncologist out based on the recommendations of colleagues, friends, and most of all, from my old oncologist.  I am told he is very different in style from my old oncologist - from her as well.

He was the one who had ordered my recent PET scan, though.  I did this several weeks ago already, and did not expect to hear the results until my appointment with him.  He doesn't know me, so, why would he call?  Still, his nurse was kind enough to call and tell me that the scan was clean.  It was such a pleasant surprise.

My appointment is tomorrow afternoon, and I'm not really looking forward to it for obvious reasons.

If I'm still "clean" tomorrow, that'll be 11 months since declared as such.  It seems like a lot longer than that.

What I recently noticed is that discussion of anything related still provokes strong responses, specifically a crazy sweat.  At a recent meeting, the chair of the oncology department described how new "high deductible" plans often put her patients into such a financial position that they don't even know how they can afford treatment, which makes it extremely difficult for her to care for them appropriately.  Additionally, I recently heard of two other cancer related cases and again, I immediately started sweating.  I wonder if that will always be the case for me.

Want to ride bikes this weekend?

Consider joining us for the Second Annual Wheat Ridge Cyclery Livestrong Ride.


Details here:

The inaugural WRC Livestrong Ride, benefiting the Lance Armstrong Foundation (Livestrong), was one of biggest bike shop ride fundraisers in the U.S. in 2010.  Riders and friends of WRC helped put together a donation of over $10,000 for research to eradicate cancer!

This year we're doing it again and we welcome you to join us.  The ride leaves the shop under escort of Wheat Ridge and Lakewood Police Departments.  Escort continues to base of Dinosaur Ridge.  

Once over the ridge, there will be a fully stocked aid station in the lower north parking lot at Red Rocks.  At that point, riders are welcome to demo new 2011 bikes from our vendors, or to simply return to WRC.  Lunch will be served post-ride at WRC.

When: Saturday May 14, 2011.  Ride leaves WRC at 8:00 a.m.

Where:  WRC to Red Rocks and back. See map below. WRC is also hosting our annual Demo Day that morning at Red Rocks.

Cost: $75, with ALL proceeds going to the Lance Armstrong Foundation (Livestrong)

 Sarah and I will be there.  The link to this event is

RIGHT HERE.

http://grassroots2011.livestrong.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=443028&team=4084995 


How will we be getting to Red Rocks?  Above it mentions the police escort.  What isn't mentioned is this:

The LIVESTRONG Ride departs from Wheat Ridge Cyclery at 8:00am on Saturday morning, May 14th. Ron Kiefel, ex-Team 7-11 pro, Olympic medalist and seven-time Tour de France racer will lead out the ride. This is a fully supported ride . . a no-drop ride . . with a turnaround and water/refreshment stop in Red Rocks Park.

So, there you go.  Ride with one of the best.
At the end the local Livestrong crew will be serving up lunch.   If this isn't enough to convince you to join us, let me state that the entire $75 goes to Livestrong.  You get a GREAT swag-bag, that we helped stock this past weekend.  It includes a saddle bag, livestrong cycling cap, tube, and some other goodies.  ALL of that stuff was generously donated by Wheat Ridge Cyclery, which is what your donation to go completely to helping cancer survivors.


We are definitely a few riders short of our goal.  Hopefully see you there!

So we had this fire...

The Indian Gulch wildfire started almost two weeks ago.  Luckily, we escaped any sort of bad fate, although our neighborhood was on evacuation alert for 5 days.  Being on standby for evacuation is certainly unpleasant, and the days were stressful.

A neighbor wrote a great blog on the whole thing here:  http://blog.ericdaugherty.com/2011/03/golden-fire-summary.html   I don't have anything to add to what he wrote on the specifics.

He took some great photos, as did another neighbor Jeff Warner.  Jeff Day 1, Jeff Day 2, Jeff Day 3.  (These are worth a look!)

I even took a few myself, which ended up on KDVR.com (Fox 31)'s website.

The fire, at closest point, was probably a half a mile from our neighborhood.

So, what do you take?  What is important?  What do you mind never seeing again?

These are good questions, and probably worthwhile for everyone to ask themselves once in a while.  I never did prior to this.   Obviously your important papers, birth certificate, passport, and insurance documents are no brainers.  Grabbing the Brunner One Fun Thing was my first thought.  Honestly, even before documents.

As I unpacked, I realized I still have no idea.  I took what I thought best, but in all likelihood was some items of poor choice.   I grabbed four footballs.  (!)  Admittedly, one of them means a lot to me as it was a gift from the Packers.  I grabbed some autographed baseballs and some baseball cards.  We grabbed some photo albums, and obviously two portable hard drives full of photos and tax documents.  I grabbed a few books that were important to me.  The goal is to try to forget anything that is irreplaceable.

Well, that would be myself and Sarah and the dogs primarily.  How does it work if the evacuation notice goes out when we are at work and the dogs are home?   The answer isn't entirely satisfactory, and I should say the answer(s) don't completely match when you ask the Sheriff vs the Fire Department vs the incident management team.   Truthfully, I almost would have rather been evacuated for sure, so as to avoid the stress of wondering about returning home.  I suppose we could have evacuated ourselves.  These are a few of the lessons we learned which are worth sharing:
1) Get a bank safety deposit box
2) Find a safe spot for the pets, possibly for the duration
3) Find a safe spot for the big items
4) Scan important documents
5) A big safe isn't a bad idea
6) Time to replace the roof!

A few of these I'd already taken care of.  It is also worth thanking everyone that reached out to us during this.

I hope we are done with natural disasters for awhile.  Or any kind, actually.

Iron Horse Donation Solicitation

This May will be my first big ride (race, really) of 2011.  I'll be riding with Team Livestrong in the Iron Horse Classic.


Consider this post my official donation solicitation, and that can be done right here:  http://ride.livestrong.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=443023&supid=220829000


Why give?
1) Fight Cancer
2) Make Josh Smile
3) Tax Deduction
4) I've been known to send presents for big donations. 


About the race:

47 mile road race. USA Cycling sanctioned event, all rules apply. Riders must have annual or one day license. Due to the road closure no team or support vehicles are allowed on course. Riders must be self sufficient. Yellow line rule in effect, even on closed road portion.

I am definitely looking forward to it.

Oncology Follow up #2

Last Friday (sorry it took me so long to get this posted), was my 6-month follow-up.  It was actually 8 months, but by their design.


Their philosophy is follow labs, minimal diagnostic radiation (unless necessary).  My oncologist says nearly everyone who does relapse has a known symptom come back.  Mine were pretty non-specific (no lumps and bumps), which leaves me with cough and being tired.  I've had both of those things, but in a different way than before I was diagnosed.


The verdict is:  still clean.  What a relief!  Given the lack of specific symptoms, I pretty much expected that, but the labs can always get you.   Luckily this wasn't the case, so I'm good to go.


This visit my oncologist brought a new oncology fellow who was from New Zealand and had some interesting insights for us.  After the check-up and stuff, we talked about some psycho-social stuff, which is going MUCH, MUCH better for me than at my 3 month follow-up.


So, now we get to be relieved for another 4 months or so, at least until the anxiety of the next visit starts up, which is usually around the time it gets scheduled, or maybe 2 months from now.  

Rapid Reaction: Superbowl XLV

I am very excited to see Aaron get his belt, and Donald Driver and Charles Woodson get their rings. What a special year for this team, and I was glad to see them at Lambeau.

Not much else to say, but Sarah and I are excited!

The Packers are going to the Superbowl!!!

OK, not really news by this point.  Still, I wanted to write a quick note about the Packers, although the notes I wrote last week were more important.  Superbowl XLV will be played in Dallas, TX next Sunday.

Obviously, Sarah and I are excited about this.  

So, rather than carry on about this, I thought I'd put just a few thoughts and links.

1) Truthfully, I'm shocked - I thought their season was over when they lost to the Detroit Lions and New England Patriots weeks 14 & 15.  Just making the playoffs was really surprising to me, all things considered.  Just look at the injuries they have sustained this season.  Ryan Grant, Mark Tauscher, Nick Barnett, Jermichael Finley, Brad Jones, Brady Poppinga, Brandon Chillar, and a promising rookie in Morgan Burnett is a huge list to overcome.  Still, the way AJ Hawk and Desmond Bishop stepped up, I hope they are the core of the inside linebackers moving forward.  Sam Shields and Tramon Williams stepped up huge as well, and the Pack may just have a running game in James Starks.


2) I really want them to win this Superbowl (obviously), for Donald Driver.  Driver has been my favorite player since around the time Favre started waffling 5 or 6 years ago.  Who's shirt did I wear when I got to go to Lambeau this season?  Oh yeah, #80 - Donald Driver, picture here.  He has a very interesting life story, a great foundation, and he writes children's books that help kids deal with adversity - something he is an expert on.  (BTW, definitely click the link on 'life story.')   All of these things are amazing, but we can't forget just how talented he is, and how tough.  He has been consistently willing to go across the middle and get hit by linebacker after linebacker for his entire career, and he always pops up with a smile.  DD plays the game the right way, and he is fun to watch.  Fact.

Dave sent me the link to this video.  It is probably the best song parody I've ever seen.  You'll likely laugh and be impressed with some of the great catches that are easy to forget over time.

My sincere hope is that the Packers win, and Donald has an MVP winning day.

3) The Packers hate cancer.  This was illustrated to me firsthand right here.  It still gives me pause to read the warm, hand-written note from their community outreach department and look at the gifts they sent me.   Ryan Grant especially hates cancer in Part 1 of a story of a young boy with Leukemia.  Part 2 is even sadder, click the link for some tears.  What a fan!  The boy actually died in his Donald Driver jersey.  I feel fairly certain that Ryan Luxem and I would've gotten along just fine, and it is special to know what the organization and Ryan Grant did for him in his last days.  I've said it many times, but I really believe this is the classiest organization in sports.

5) Green Bay will be the "home" team for the Superbowl (it alternates yearly, and this year is the NFC's turn).  As such, they get to pick their uniforms, and have opted to go with home greens.

That is the jersey Greg Jennings will wear.  It still needs the Captain C.  I'm a little disappointed they didn't choose the road whites that they had so much success in over the last 3 playoff games.

I subscribe to the Crash Davis philosophy of streaks, although admittedly, two of their last five games were in the home greens at Lambeau.

BTW, a great blog about Packer uniforms can be found here.  I've clicked over there often lately.  It is the official blog of the Packer uniform database.  How much can you possibly say about Packer uniforms to necessitate a database and blog?  - Click over to see.  It is a wealth of interesting information.  (seriously!)

6) Speaking of streaks and uniforms, since I do believe in that sort of thing, I'll be wearing my white #12 jersey and Packer hat sent to me in the care package.  I would rather wear the #80 jersey shown above, but I won't mess with this streak.  That said, I have been known to change mid-game when things aren't going well. (They're working on curing my cancer, not my neurosis). 

7) For those of you with iPads - this app is a must have.  It is the Superbowl XLV program.  Just like the $15 book you can order from NFL shop, only with sound and video.  It is a big program, but well worth it.  I was lucky to find it.

8) As a last thought...."Josh, your list doesn't have a number 4."  Yep, I do realize that.

NEITHER DO THE PACKERS!!!!!

This is Aaron's team now.  They win and lose with Mr. Rodgers.   Hopefully, they win one more!

GO PACK GO!

A Request for Thoughts, Prayers, Positive Energy, Whatever you may have

I have mentioned my friend George on this blog a few times.  He and I were diagnosed at approximately the same time.  Unfortunately, he has "failed the lumps and bumps test." In other words, the ABVD was not completely successful and the lymphoma has recurred.

I can assure every one of you that this is one of the biggest fears of any cancer survivor out there.  I'd be lying if I said I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on this possibility.

Still, Sarah and I had dinner with he and Susan this week, and they are doing as good as can be expected.  In fact, his tumors have already responded dramatically, which is great.  George looks great to me, and he still is running and biking.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he got more in this past week than I did.  It was a very fun evening at a terrific local vegetarian / vegan restaurant, and we had some drinks and of course swapped cancer stories from the trenches.

I have every confidence and sincere hope that his current plan will work for him, but I'd ask anyone reading, if they have any extra thoughts, prayers, positive energy, karma, ju-ju or whatever to send it his way!

What Cancer Cannot Do

My Aunt had given me this poem, which I am sure most of you have seen at one point or another previously, when I was diagnosed.  She had another friend diagnosed, but the place she bought the little bookmark with it was out.   It is worth posting here yet again.   Since it is plagiarized all over the internet, I figure I won't get into trouble.

What Cancer Cannot Do 

It cannot cripple Love 

It cannot shatter Hope 

It cannot corrode Faith 

It cannot destroy Peace  

It cannot kill Friendship 

It cannot suppress Memories 

It cannot silence Courage 

It cannot invade the Soul 

It cannot steal Eternal Life 

It cannot conquer the Spirit. 

-Author Unknown 

One year later...

It has been one year since my diagnosis.  1/11/11.  What an easy date, and yet the realization of 1/11/10 didn't hit me until tonight.  At a local Livestrong Colorado meeting tonight, we eaqch went around and discussed our connection to cancer.  That's when I realized what today meant.


They say cancer patients never forget their dates, and I guess I technically didn't, but I sure didn't wake up and have it on my mind all day.  I consider this both great and disappointing at the same time.  


I had thought to maybe quietly mark today somehow, although I never really finalized how.  I didn't have big plans, and as I noted in October, today means far less to me than my remission day or last chemo day.

I don't really feel the same way about my diagnosis day.  It certainly wasn't a "take charge attitude" sort of day.  Maybe quiet acceptance in my case.  Having said that, it seems appropriate enough to designate a day to raise awareness.  Granted, the "cancer community" has a lot of these types of days, but, let's be honest:  we need them all.  I likely won't do much to mark my own diagnosis day, but I do have big plans for my remission day, and probably my last chemo day.  

So the day never really got marked beyond going to a Livestrong meeting, which was coincidental.  I'm not sad to see 2010 go, for obvious reasons.  Only 11 days in, 2011 is already much, much better than 2010 was.  So much has changed in a year.  I couldn't even begin to catalog all the changes.  As Sarah has also noted several times - "it almost doesn't even seem real."   This too is both great and very sad.  If I sit and think about it, it is unbelievably real.  Unrelated to my diagnosis, today I did reflect on some very long meetings at work where I could barely hold myself together due to extreme fatigue, nausea, and taste changes.  I don't think I'll ever forget what those chemo days were like.  There are still foods I won't eat, and I haven't  had a ginger ale, my previous miracle, since probably 1/2 way through chemotherapy.  I probably could get one down, but there is no part of me wanting it.  At the same time, it does feel like it was so long ago as to be another life, and in a sense it was.


I haven't blogged in a long time:  not much to say, despite a ton of things going on.  I do have a race coming up, and participating with Team Livestrong means raising some money, which I'll be doing soon.  I also recently spoke on the phone with Jonny Imerman of Imerman Angels.  I have been trying to get set up as a mentor for months, and now it is all finalized until they find someone for which I can be of help, and so I'm very excited about that.  One of our good friends continues his fight with cancer, which has made me scared and angry.  The rumors are true:  my career has taken a very sharp turn down a very different path which I am excited about.  Sarah and I are finally taking a much needed relaxing vacation to a place which is very important to us next month.  Lucy is now a year and a much mellowed-out boxer, and technically an adult dog we are told.  Where was that when Sarah was at her wits end between the dog and my uselessness?  I'm still riding, and have been trying to learn a new discipline on the bicycle.  My next oncology follow up is in February, and I'll let you guys all guess how the anticipation of that goes.  In other words, I've been living, or as a family friend likes to say, "Life goes on."  Thankfully, that is true for me.

Sarah and I are famous

Well, of course not really.   We are, however, currently pictured on Livestrong's Grassroots Fundraising page seen here.

What event will you participate or support next year?

OFT: A visit to Texas

Sarah and I visited Texas middle of last month as a "One Fun Thing."   I have been too busy to blog, but, here is a brief update to the trip.  I think it is pertinent given the first place we visited:  Livestrong HQ.

That's the entrance.   Here is the Livestrong manifesto:

They also have some art, a lot of yellow jerseys, and Lance's Bronze Medal from the Olympics.

Here is what a conference room would look like:

Livestrong HQ in Austin was really neat to see.  What was amazing is all the great work they are doing there.  We spent a bit of time in their new patient care area which will serve the underserved population in Austin.  They'll provide a variety of resources covering medical, psychosocial, and economic. 

You can read more, and see better pictures of this here.  They give tours to the public at a variety of times, and I'd highly suggest it to anyone who visits the Austin area.   Sarah and I were very grateful for a public tour from our workshop leader, Leigh, who is pictured below.  We also got to meet and say hello to Colleen, who we've corresponded with about some grassroots things in Colorado.   A very special thank you to both of them!

Also during our trip to Austin, we got to visit Mellow Johnny's Bicycle Shop, which is owned by Lance Armstrong.  Say what you will about Lance, but after seeing his bike shop and his charity HQ, he can pick out a great location, a great building, and some great decor.

In terms of bicycle selection, Mellow Johnnys was like most other big bike shops.

The exterior was pretty understated from all entrances.   They obviously had a lot of bikes, but the real draw were the bikes you couldn't purchase.

Lance's bikes from the 2010 Tour.  The TT bike was probably my favorite bike in the entire store.  Sarah and I rented some bikes from them (Treks, of course) for a fun ride during our stay.

Lance had a few more bikes and some jerseys around.  A few were from other famous cyclists.

Team Radio Shack had a small section of the store (see in above picture, lower left), plus a vehicle there.

Where they really make their killing is in Mellow Johnny's merchandise.  They had a lot of cool things, though.  It was definitely a neat place to see, and I'd recommend it as well!

The last of the three big highlights to the trip (it was all highlights!), was getting to hang out, get a ride in, and do dinner with some friends, including a Team SBP member!

Green Bay Packers Postscript

Last week, I blogged about my trip to see the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field.  It was something I decided I wanted to do early on in my diagnosis if I got better.


I now have a follow-up to this story.


We left for Wisconsin on a Thursday, and Sarah and I drove out from Colorado.  During the short week before we left, Sarah had sent a letter to the Green Bay Packers front office telling them about this trip, and how out of London, Paris, Hawaii, or a cruise, I wanted to go to Green Bay, Wisconsin.  This letter was completely unbeknownst to me.  I first learned of this when we were actually on the road.  To this day, I still have not seen a copy of it, but the gist was that the trip meant a lot, I was really excited, and my favorite players were Donald Driver, Aaron Rodgers, and Clay Matthews, and maybe could we get a "hello" message on the jumbotron scoreboard.   She left her cell phone number with the Packers.


Sarah told me about this letter somewhere in Nebraska.  I was mildly surprised, although I told her to expect nothing.  Especially three days out from the game.


The trip came and went and was a great time!  I didn't give another thought to her letter.


A week later, the Green Bay Packers community outreach called Sarah on the phone!  There was nothing they could have done, and they don't do scoreboard messages, but they were very touched by her letter, pleased with what I wanted to do with my trip, and they were all thinking about us.  Oh, and to keep an eye on the mail as they sent a package.


Sarah told me about this and I was very interested.  What could the Packers be sending?

I could spot the packing tape on the box as it sat on my porch from my car as I came home on Tuesday.  The team logo on the packing tape is such a nice touch.   Now I was very intrigued.  The box was big, but it was light, too.  Sarah was still in Texas at a conference.  Should I wait for her before opening it?


I consider myself to be very patient, but I'm not that patient.  Besides, my name was on the packing label.  So, I opened it.   The first thing I saw was a card made out to me (pictured three pictures down).  It had the Packers logo on the outside, and said that they were thinking about me, signed, Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers.


The next thing I noticed was a Packers hat.  At this point I'm shocked.  How much stuff did they put in here?  A lot.  I also found a travel mug, and an autographed football.  The football is really neat, and luckily, many of the players signed their numbers as well, so you can identify the signatures.

The next thing I noticed was a bag from the Packers charities.  Inside it were a collection of huge football cards (for lack of better term).  You can see them below, I laid out a few favorites, including the players Sarah mentioned in her letter as my favorites.  There's also a schedule with Donald Driver on it, a Packers Pen, and a Packers key-chain.

Below that was a mini Packers pennant, and a team photo from last year.   

At the very bottom of the box is the glossy Aaron Rodgers photo pictured above.  What a great collection of stuff!  The cool thing is, I'm pretty sure all of it is special and unique to their community outreach program.   For example, if you go to the Packer Pro Shop, and you look at their autographed footballs for sale, their stock photo shows a football from 2008, the same year my football is from, but they are not the same item.  Likewise with the hat, the mug, and the pen:  they are similar to items you can purchase, but not identical, which I think is really neat.


Moreover, I think it speaks to the generosity of the organization.  In my opinion, it was unbelievably classy that they sent us all this stuff.  I'm surprised they have it on hand to send, but they clearly take community outreach seriously, and probably are involved in a big enough variety of things to necessitate having so much on hand.  (Those curious can see some of the things the Packers are involved in here, and maybe background on the football here).  I don't know what Sarah said that was so convincing, but wow!  Obviously it meant a lot to me, and was a pretty special cap on a very special trip.  I'll have to send them a nice thank you card, and I'll probably include a picture of Sarah and I from the game, probably this one, with Sarah in her Aaron Rodgers shirt, and me in my Donald Driver shirt, our favorite players.  Hopefully the Packers can get past some injuries and pick up a few wins in the coming weeks!

Oncology Follow-up #1: 3 months out

Actually more like four months, since I didn't do radiation.  As you can imagine, and as I have noted previously, I wasn't really looking forward to today.  On several occasions I had serious thoughts about canceling.  I didn't.


I mentioned earlier that I felt great for months after finishing chemotherapy.  I was bursting with energy and requiring very little sleep.  About a month ago, however, I started having fevers, chills, body aches, some lethargy, and even night sweats.  I was convinced I had relapsed.  Of course it would be really soon (and really bad, from a prognosis standpoint) if that were true, but you simply can't help but think that.  I even had my own little mini-breakdown moment one day before work when I had convinced myself of all this.


On Monday I had my bloodwork done and got my chest x-ray.  The bloodwork is basically done in a few hours as it is just a BMP, LDH, and CBC with differential.  By Wednesday, the results still were not released to me, and I remember confiding in a close friend that it had me in a bit of a panic.  Your mind races.  Is the doctor just busy or does she not want me to see it?  Logic assumes the former, emotion assumes the latter.  Although I try to live my life letting logic rule my mind, cancer really rachets up the emotion.


As it turns out, the labs eventually were released later Wednesday night and were perfectly normal.  Nothing even close to unusual.  I was relieved.  I found out Thursday that my chest x-ray was normal as well.  In other words, I'm still clean.  This didn't explain my symptoms.


When we discussed that, she noted that it is possible that I overdid things early in summer.  Likewise, it was a little unfair to assume I'd feel "normal" immediately and forever, and most folks take at least a year to normalize, physically.  Additionally, most males become frustrated by this.  (Why wouldn't females be frustrated?  I have no idea).


She looked at my nail beds and determined my body was still getting rid of chemo.  From a pharmacokinetic standpoint, this doesn't make sense, but I can assume the point to get at is that my body is still recovering from the effects.  My (possibly incorrect) rationalization is that chemotherapy immediately affects the cells in your body that turn over the fastest:  cancer, of course, but also hair, skin, your GI tract, etc.  Perhaps the effect to the rest of the body is much slower, and therefore much slower to recover.   I'll go with that theory for now, hopefully someone can correct or validate it.


Beyond that we talked a little bit about survivorship issues and life outlook.  She was happy to order a PET scan for me to ease my mind on my subjective symptoms, but I simply refuse to give in to that.  Logically, the objective findings are what they are, and I do not want subjectives to trump that.


In the meantime, I get another four months until I get to do this roller coaster all over again.  If symptoms change, I'm obviously supposed to call.

"What is the one thing you want to do when you get better?"

This was a question I was asked many times.  Most of those were from Sarah.  I think she was anticipating a trip to Europe or Hawaii or somewhere like that, but the first time I answered it, I could see in her face she was quite surprised.


"I want to go to a Packer game at Lambeau."


We can do that, but don't you want to go to Europe or Hawaii or somewhere?


"I want to go to a Packer game at Lambeau.  I want to see a win, too."


So, that's what we did.  We looked at the schedule and picked an early October game against the lowly Detroit Lions which we thought would fit the bill.  Sarah and I drove up and met my parents, her parents, and our good friends Dave and Marv for a Packer game.  Prior to the game, we went to the Packer Fan Tours tailgate party at Brett Favre's Steakhouse.  Actually, the BF steakhouse parking lot.  It was great.

Who wants a 9am beer?

Blood Marys were also available for the health-conscious.  They also had one of the "premier" DJs of the area.  I guess.

GREENMAN!!!!

Maybe we'll take a few for the road.

Going to Lambeau is like no other sporting event that I know of.  I am sure I could not accurately or adequately describe it.

Within minutes of sitting down and watching the coin toss,

Aaron Rodgers flipped a pass to Donald Driver for a touchdown and Lambeau leap.  This exact sequence is what I had wanted to see for months.

Just like that the Packers took the lead.  Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, and Jermichael Finley all caught passes for touchdowns and all took Lambeau leaps.  Especially nice was that all three are on my fantasy football team, and Aaron Rodgers is on Dave's.  (Marv remains ahead of both of us).  The game wasn't the blowout I had expected or hoped for, though.  The Lions fought making it more exciting than it had to be.  

Charles Woodson came through with a clutch interception and ran it back to help out, though.  Here he is diving into the endzone.

Here is a neat shot of the line blocking for Kuhn on the final drive to put the game away.

It ended up being a terrific game, and I had a blast.  The packers have since fallen apart somewhat, but that does not take away what a great trip we had.

Just a few more pictures, the day before the game, we visited the Packers Hall of Fame and ate at Curly's.  Some old uniforms, important game balls, Donald Driver's uniform from a record setting catch, a picture of us, and one of the Lombardi trophies, as well as some championship rings.

A huge Thank You to Marv, Dave, Sarah, and out parents for all coming to make this such a special day for me.