Tomorrow is a big day

As some of you know, my oncologist has left and I'll be needing a new one.  This was shocking and saddening for Sarah and I.  The upside is that it happened now, rather than during the thickest parts of my fight.

I picked my new oncologist out based on the recommendations of colleagues, friends, and most of all, from my old oncologist.  I am told he is very different in style from my old oncologist - from her as well.

He was the one who had ordered my recent PET scan, though.  I did this several weeks ago already, and did not expect to hear the results until my appointment with him.  He doesn't know me, so, why would he call?  Still, his nurse was kind enough to call and tell me that the scan was clean.  It was such a pleasant surprise.

My appointment is tomorrow afternoon, and I'm not really looking forward to it for obvious reasons.

If I'm still "clean" tomorrow, that'll be 11 months since declared as such.  It seems like a lot longer than that.

What I recently noticed is that discussion of anything related still provokes strong responses, specifically a crazy sweat.  At a recent meeting, the chair of the oncology department described how new "high deductible" plans often put her patients into such a financial position that they don't even know how they can afford treatment, which makes it extremely difficult for her to care for them appropriately.  Additionally, I recently heard of two other cancer related cases and again, I immediately started sweating.  I wonder if that will always be the case for me.