This is my life now

A complaint of a blog post!  Well, not really so much a complaint as a negative observation.  Believe me, I am happy to deal with this as opposed to the alternative.


Deal with what?  Last week I had chills quite a few times.  This week it hasn't happened, although we are having record high temps in the Denver area recently, with temps in the high 80s and more.  The chills also came with some fatigue.  I wasn't sleepy, I just wasn't bursting with energy as I have been for a few months. 


These were two of my biggest presenting symptoms.


As you can imagine, I wasn't thrilled.  In fact, one morning I almost cracked with worry over it.  I got dressed for work, but kept thinking about it all morning and finally sat down on the bed and had myself a little moment.  This is my life now.  I've heard to expect this from numerous survivors.  One of the local Livestrong guys compared it to a Great White song - "Once bitten, twice shy."  He noted that 4 years later he still freaks out over every cough.  So, every time I get a cold, or my allergy symptoms flare up, or I get a sinus infection, I'll probably worry, for good and for bad.


In the meantime, I've scheduled my first follow-up oncology appointment for next month.  I have orders for my chest x-ray (again), and some labs.  I haven't done either yet.  I'll probably wait as long as possible to do them.  I'm not looking forward to the appointment, and I want to enjoy myself as much as possible until then.  Chances are that everything will be just fine and I feel pretty confident that this will be the case.  Still,  I see no sense in worrying needlessly until then, so, I try not to think about it.  As you can imagine, that is nearly impossible.  I'll stress yet again, it beats the alternative.