My new favorite T-shirt

I don't even own it yet, but it is my new favorite T-shirt.  Ordered today.

Those of you who know me, or by now "e-know" me, know that I love baseball, love the Milwaukee Brewers, and am a small time collector of Brewer oddities, miscellaneous trinkets, memorabilia, and other doo-dads. 


(This has nothing to do with cancer, and I promise not to make this a Brewers Blog, it is just what is going on in my head today).


Backstory to an inside joke:
Several years back I was back in Milwaukee at a Brewers game in Miller Park with Dave (of Dave's ride for Josh fame), and my old roommate Marv.  We had so-called "Uecker Seats" way above the press box, behind home plate, and remarkably close to the roof.  On this particular day, we had the blessing of sitting in front of three of the most goofy hilljacks I've ever heard.  I seriously thought they fell off the back of the turnip truck as it passed Miller Park on I-94.  The whole game long, we had the pleasure of listening to them argue, like high school nerds, about the most mundane topics.  Every statement they made, it seemed, needed repeating several times.  It took them the first two innings to establish that in football, who gets the ball first is decided by a coin toss, but in baseball, the visiting team bats first.  I swear on all things holy, they repeated a variation of that sentence no less than 15 times in the first two innings.  Their discussion of sports only declined from there.

At first, we were shocked that these were adults (and I'd estimate them to be around 40 years old) having this 2nd grade conversation, and we were hoping they'd shut up.   As the game went on, the sheer comedic brilliance of their material became clear to us (although they were very serious), and has provided years of laughs as the three of us relived their quotes.  At the time, current Brewer Jeff Suppan was playing for the Cardinals, and incidentally pitching (and winning) that day.  We heard "Soup's On!!!" at least 15 times as well.   When we got to the late innings, the discussion turned to that of the game's current greats.  They had already declared that Albert Pujols was the most unstoppable thing to ever pick up a bat.   However, they had also decreed that when (then San Diego Padre and current MLB all-time saves leader) Trevor Hoffman came in to close games, it was "Lights Out!!!!"   (We heard the phrase "Trevor Hoffman is Lights Out!!!" several times).

In a variation on the classic, "Who would win in a fight between Batman and Spiderman," one of them asked what would happen if Pujols ever had to bat against Trevor Hoffman closing a game.   This little scenario stopped them dead in their tracks cold.  Silence.  (Well, you could hear the gears very, very slowly creaking along in their heads).   What had been about 7 innings of constant jabbering became an eerie silence.  There was no answer.  It was the irresistable force meets immovable object. 

As it turns out, although these guys could not answer the question, there is in fact some historical data which does.   Thanks to the nice folks at baseball cube, we can say what would, and did, happen when Albert Pujols faced Trevor Hoffman:

All five meetings occurred when Trevor Hoffman was a member of the Padres, and all five times he seemed to get the better of Pujols.

After what, by then, seemed like an eternity, finally, one of them very quietly mumbled again, "Trevor Hoffman is Lights Out...."   Indeed, friend, it would seem that he is.

And so, for years "Trevor Hoffman is Lights Out!!!" became a very favorite phrase of ours.  You can imagine our excitement when, last year, Trevor Hoffman signed with our very own Milwaukee Brewers.  Trevor has very quickly become a fan favorite in Milwaukee, and in 2009 (and so far this year) he has pitched very effectively for the Crew.  Often times, after Trevor saves a game in Miller Park, Dave rushes to send me a very simple text message ("Lights Out!!!"), before I can send the same to him first.

That brings me to today.  For a while MLB has been selling customized T-shirts.   Any player you want.  I have spent much time thinking about ordering an old, obscure Brewers player from the late 80s or early 90s.  Definitely not a star, someone that only a true fan would know, and immediately upon seeing, start laughing.  The more quirky and average the player, the better.  I am still interested in doing this (and taking suggestions), but today I had another idea.  I ordered this shirt:

Why? Because Trevor Hoffman (#51) is Lights Out.  My only disappointment is that the MLB shop will not allow you to add exclamation points after a "player's" name.  (Actually, hopefully they let me even have this.)  Things like this, however, make me laugh.  Although many don't know the story above, few could argue with the end conclusion.  I only wish I could wear it to Miller Park.